What happens if someone tells you “NO” upon a request? Are you understanding of others when they say “NO” to you? I sometimes compare this to asking someone for help: Asking someone for help could cause a feeling of disturbance, neediness and weakness. What happens if someone asks for your help? Do you really get irritated and perceive the other person as needy and weak?

The opposite often occurs, you feel a level of trust and would genuinely like to help if you can, or refer the person to somebody else. Along this parallel, when someone tells us “NO”, do we really get upset, hurt and see the other person as selfish? Or are we able to appreciate the clear and honest answer that allows us to move on?

It should be totally ok to say no if you have to sacrifice own needs to help someone else. Sometimes we may help, other times not.

I’ve searched the internet for good examples of saying “NO”, and here are a few lines that have proven helpful to me and might be helpful to you if you struggle sometimes as well:

1.I have a conflicting initiative.
2.I am not planning on doing this.
3.I have no intention of doing this.
4.This is not included as part of my priorities.
5.I am not available for this.
6.This is not interesting to me.
7.No.

I have to admit that the last one is the most challenging to me! What is your preferable way of saying “NO” to someone you want to nurture your relationship with? Where is your next opportunity to practice saying “NO” to others respectfully and learn how to keep your level of discomfort at a minimum level? If you are looking for a chance to get really close to your personal and unconscious values, you have a lot to look forward to when practicing your “NO”!

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Just a few days ago, I was invited by a friend to an event hosted by a government sponsored organisation supporting upcoming entrepreneurs. The event marked “the grand finale”  of  a 6 weeks workshop, allowing entrepreneurs to present and sell their ideas to an audience in 5 minutes only, followed by 3 minutes feedback. It was indeed a diversified and interesting collection of people and ideas. At the end of the event, the entrepreneurs seemed happy about their performances and the takeaways from the audience.

Now, 5 days later, which ideas do I, as an observer remember…and why?

Another friend of mine is an expert in the field of rhetorics. She is constantly challenging me and others to ask ourselves:  “What is your key message? What does it accomplish? And what’s in it for me?” And then she reminds me that communicating is so much more than words, it’s how you present it, how you are perceived, how you build trust…and not at least, how you manage to create emotions among your listeners.

So the simple answer to the above question is the following:

I recall the ideas where the presenter managed to create emotions supporting the facts and standard selling points.

I remember the presenters who demonstrated passion about their ideas and used more than words and facts to support their presentation.

My first employer taught me that the most effective presentation was one visual…one visual only. It takes courage to actually do so, but I’m finally convinced: There is no stronger selling point than talking passionately from your heart about something that’s important to you without disturbing elements. As a receiver, you might not agree with the idea, but it’s almost impossible to not get affected. And…you’ll remember it longer.

You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to benefit from this. What do You do differently next time You want somebody else to like your idea? How well do You know your strengths as others perceive them and how do you leverage this when selling your idea? I’d like to inspire You to reflect more about this through an e-book issued by my partners Per Frykman & Karin Sandin: “You-a Brand”. By signing up for my newsletter at the bottom right corner, You will get Your own free copy and might dive into this topic further.

Imagine what You would be able to do if You actually had the knowledge about Your strengths and use this knowledge when selling Your ideas.  Let me know Your thoughts by commenting this post!

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